Sunday, June 28, 2009

Returning the Fuss

My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus. And I am sorry.

--Glen Quagmire, 2008

The return flight sucked as expected. The complete level of suck is only reduced by the benefit it offered me, but overall, the trip sucked.

The first flight was unpleasant because I had to wake up at 0400. As Samantha and I polished off the Grey Goose and Kahlua I got for my birthday (thanks Mom), the night before sleep was in short order. Sam and I checked in and I boarded around 0600. There was little incident. Fuss was tired and got some sleep.

The second flight turned out to be the flight from hell. I had about an hour or so layover in Dallas, which is great because walking Fuss around the airport is hardly a good time. I noticed the gate listed for my second flight was listed with a weird acronym (PFW or something). Upon asking I was told no plane was available for the flight, so the gate was pending awaiting an airplane. I still do not know what the fuck that was about, so I moved to the set of gates I was told would be one of the gates I would board at. Shortly thereafter, the flight was canceled. I was to have a 4-hour layover in Shreveport, so I was not especially concerned with this cancellation since I was automatically rescheduled on a flight about 70 minutes later.

Okay, so instead of laying over in Shreveport, I am in Dallas. I would prefer Shreveport only because I would have turned over Anabelle. She was tired, she was getting hungry, and she was unhappy with the travelling and waiting (cannot blame her), so I wanted to get her home and finish the transition. We boarded this plane expecting to leave around 1100. The pilot then told us we had a mechanical error and had to deplane. We moved to a new gate shortly thereafter and expected to board the new plane at 1200. I still was not all that concerned. My flight out of Shreveport was around 1430 and the flight time was less than an hour from Dallas.

I did get to meet up with Sam again briefly when she arrived in Dallas and she held Fuss for awhile as we awaited boarding. I was in my seat and all of us were ready to go around 1230. I am not even exaggerating when I tell you we did not actually take off until around 1400 because we spent the next hour or so counting passengers and then requesting permission to take off. The latter is not surprising; sometimes takeoff takes a few minutes from permission, to taxi, to waiting in line. However, waiting a fucking hour while they clear up their paperwork is ridiculous.

Understand, this is a small plane with only 50 seats. There was a little confusion because a couple people on the previous flight eventually got sick of all the bullshit and just drove to Shreveport (about a 3- to 4-hour drive), but that confusion should have been minimal. We retained our seat numbers and all of us were checked in as we boarded the plane. There was a dispute as to whether there was 47 or 48 people on board. Our flight attendant insisted there was 47, while the American Eagle staff handling the paperwork thought it was 48.

Okay, our attendant noted that there were 3 empty seats. The staff even did a walkthrough asking us our names as they walked through the plane, and still came up with 48 because they forgot to mark off someone's name who did not board the plane. Um, there were 3 open seats and the plane seats 50, how fucking hard is that? Even doing an individual check of each seat and person occupying the seat and they still fucked it up. Well, needless to say I was pretty pissed that I missed my connection in Shreveport because of this.

The turnover with the Drache Dame was unpleasant. They were not even at the airport and Fuss and I had to wait about half an hour (so theoretically, even if my flight did arrive on time, I still would have missed my connection). She came in carrying a bunch of toys, no doubt, to try and mollify Anabelle's wrath upon my departure. During the short walk from baggage to the CR-V, Fuss told the DL that she could not drive and that I needed to. Anabelle also said she wanted to go to "Daddy's House." I said nothing and started buckling Anabelle up, told her to be a good girl, do not pee or poop in her diaper (she was potty trained at that point and I wanted her to keep it up since the DL would offer no support in this). The DL got all pissed, yelled at me that she had it, I looked at her cross and she freaked out and told me to "get out of my truck."

The worst part was about 2 minutes later, Trudy called and asked if I had Anabelle's play (her Nintendo DS). I did have it and instead of just coming right back to get it, the DL said I should just mail it. Now, this DS is of great importance to Anabelle and she has gotten remarkably good at some of the harder games (Yoshi's Island DS is a beast of a game at some of the harder levels, and Fuss does quite well). Anabelle absolutely loves the DS. Anyway, I thought that was just mean, but I expected nothing more of Drache Dame.

The good news out of all this is that I was required to layover at least one day. I negotiated with American to extend it another day, was charged nothing more and I was able to hang out with the Sam for another day and a half since she was in Dallas until this morning.

The flight out of Shreveport was, to no surprise, delayed about an hour and a half for no explainable reason, so that was just the cherry on top of an already shitty day.

The flight I had yesterday was without incident from Dallas through LA to Honolulu.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Retrieving the Fuss

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

--Anonymous

Sam dropped me off at Honolulu Airport around 1130 HST on the 9th. My itinerary was from Honolulu to LA to Dallas to Shreveport to Dallas to Moline. Yes, 5 flights to retrieve the Fuss and find my way to the homeland. It was pretty damn miserable. We arrived in Moline around 1630 CST, which is almost exactly 24 hours from when I arrived at the Honolulu airport. I did get a lot of good DS time in, but I am not looking forward to taking that trip again.

After the 4th flight when Fuss and I arrived in Dallas, I had to go to the bathroom (I was getting close to crowning too, but that I had to fight off as I was not about to take her into the stall with me), so I asked her to stop near the sink while I went to the urinal. She gradually creeped closer and closer despite my pleas for her to stay back. She asked me if I "was finished," however, the way it sounded was "Daddy, are you fishing?" Now, considering the position I was in and what I was doing, I could not help but laugh. Fortunately, a gentlemen who was washing his hands saw my plight and distracted the Fuss with a couple questions that discouraged her from trying to check out my fishing pole while I reeled myself in.

The meeting with the DL was not as miserable as I thought it would be, but it was still ever-so uncomfortable for me. First off, because I was dead tired. She also would not be quiet, constantly talking to me when all I wanted was to see my daughter. She commented about how she still could not believe we were no longer a family, etc. Her and I had not been family for years and this process would have gone forth years ago had Fuss not been around, so some of her comments were not only off-the-wall, but offensive to me. Overall, it went ok, but I was still happy to get the hell out of there. I really had to bite my tongue on some issues and did not get too unsettled except when she implied she was doing me a favor by having Fuss so that I could live my life, do what I wanted, have a girlfriend, etc. Outrageous!

When arriving in Moline, I stayed up for a couple hours before going to bed around 7pm. I got a good 12 hours of sleep and was pretty much on schedule. I do feel somewhat unsettled because my body is quite happy with Hawaii time, so even though I wake up around 0800-0900 (much later than I ever wake up in Hawaii), my body still acts like it is 0300-0400, so I get really tired in the evenings. It is okay though, I'd rather have my body in tune with Hawaii time as it is.

What a trip though...

Claycourt King

"Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?"

--George Carlin, 2001

I was pretty stoked Federer won the French Open. Considering the rivalry of Nadal and Federer and how Nadal has been such a dominant clay-court player and Federer such a dominant grass-court player, I never thought there would be a point in time in which Federer was considered the clay-court king having defeated Nadal in Madrid and then winning the French Open and Nadal would be the grass-court king having defeated Federer in 5 sets at Wimbledon. My how things change.

Federer's win in the French ties him with Sampras for total number of slam tournaments won (14) and means he has completed everything he could have ever wanted to complete as a tennis player, winning the career Grand Slam. He now has poised himself at a run of making #1 again as well.

Friday, June 5, 2009

French Open Finals

"Ten A.M. tomorrow. And I would ask Counsel to check his sense of humor at the door. My courtroom is a temple of decorum. And I do not tolerate jibber-jabber."

--Judge Sanders, 2005

Both semifinals today were just awesome. They started at 0100 local time, which sucks. I did not care so much about the first, so I wound up only seeing the 5th set, but after dropping the first two sets, Gonzalez fought back to take a 4-1 lead in the final set. I've seen Soderling for years, but the heart it must have taken to blow that kind of lead and then roar back 5 games to go to the finals is quite amazing.

The match with Federer was just painful for me to watch. I was in agony. This is the only tournament that torments me so because of what it means. Roger got raped the 1st set, after starting out looking strong. He held early and had break points on both of the first two games on Del Potro's serve. After that, it was just an annihilation as Del Potro broke twice winning 6-3.

On paper, the 2nd set was a routine hold of serve to the tiebreak, but serving to stay in the set, Federer was down 0-30 and I was on the edge of my seat knowing what that could mean. Roger fought back, fought to tiebreak, and then, thank God, dominated that tiebreak. I felt a bit better in that maybe he was rolling.

The 3rd set proved me wrong as Del Potro just dominated on serve and again broke twice to win that 3rd set. It is just too good to be true that so many top players are gone, including Nadal and that Federer had a record against the last 3 remaining players of like 26-1 (including 5-0 against Del Potro not even yielding a set), and here he is on the brink. Well, he destroyed Del Potro in the 4th set and the 5th set was underway.

I was feeling better about things when Roger broke early to take a 1-0 lead, but was royally pissed when he gave that break back at 2-3, especially when he had a golden opportunity to take a 4-1 lead. Well, Federer immediately broke back and held serve strong the next two games to close out 6-4 in the 5th set.

This final starts 0300 Sunday morning, and you can bet your ass I'll watch it as it will be live on NBC, even here in Hawai'i. Ironically, I hear Andre Agassi will be giving out the trophy; how sweet is that!

Colonoscopy

"Hey, now I know how a muppet feels."

--Anonymous

The procedure was simple, the prep was not so much fun. Knowing what I know now, I simply would have woke up early in the morning at like 0400 (since I was up at that time anyway), and drank the 4 liters of saline electrolyte and been good to go for my 1030 appointment. Instead I was told to start yesterday. On the day of the procedure, you are told not to drink anything except for the solution, not even water, which sucked as I was dehydrated as hell (you have to drink a gallon of salt water, the night before so imagine how dehydrated you get). Even after drinking 2 liters of sprite, I was still at 135 lbs, which will rapidly be replenished to 141 today.

I was told I would not remember the procedure. It is strange, I remember it vividly as it was happening. I remember feeling them moving the scope around, seeing it on the screen, and asking questions about what I was seeing. Now, several hours later, I remember doing all those things, but it is really foggy. I made it a point to be alert because it was kind of interesting seeing your own colon. As she was pulling out, she showed me that I had a couple of internal hemorrhoids (everyone has them, but mine were a bit irritated, which explained the occasional spotting I see.

Overall though, she said things looked good and not to worry about anything.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Federer vs Monfils

"If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert."

--Peter Griffin, 1999

I woke up early (being there is a 12-hour difference between Hawai'i and Paris) to watch this match. The first set was painful, but amazing. Federer had three break points against him and fought all off, while Monfils never was down break point. Both held serve through to the tiebreak, where Federer managed to get a mini-break up and had a great look at the set up 3-1, then double faulted. He regained a mini-break and was serving at 5-3. Monfils won the next 3 points and had a set point. Federer hit a winner and won his next point to go up 7-6 before winning the set on Monfil's serve. That was a rough set to watch.
The 2nd set was dominated by Roger, racing out to 4-0 before closing out the set 6-2. I will have to wait for the 3rd set because of work, but I am not too worried with Federer up 2-0 on Monfils.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The French

“As long as I got my pants back...”

Rafael Nadal, 2008

I'm amazed the French Open draw has completely collapsed as it has. The biggest shock was obviously Nadal falling to Soderling. Nadal had never lost at the French and has been the champion the last 4 years. It was not like he had easy draws either, he defeated Federer all 4 years and had been handling upcoming players such as Djokovic rather routinely. What is even more impressive is that Nadal is 22 years old. You would think he is much better now than he was in the past couple years as evidenced by his dominating #1 ranking. For him to lose here in such a fashion was just huge.

Djokovic had been playing extremely well, basically losing only to Nadal and in some tough contests. He went down in flames as well, and again, not to a strong, top-ranked player. Murray just went out earlier today, which means #1, #3 and #4 are all gone. Federer need only win 3 matches against players that have very little experience in the 2nd week of a Grand Slam event to win the French Open.

Federer has not been playing great here, so none of these matches are at all guaranteed. He was down 2 sets to Haas before storming back to win in 5 sets. He plays Monfils in about 12 hours, a talented Frenchmen who could prove a difficult challenge for Roger. If he wins, he would likely face Del Potro, a player he has handled well, but has been providing consistent results for the past year and offers the potential of being a huge threat. The finals might actually be the easiest of the matches, either against the extremely volatile Gonzalez or Soderling (although both have cruised through their draws, so who knows if they play a solid match).